What's Happened to the Men???

WHAT’S HAPPENED TO THE MEN???

Men have, clearly lost their minds. It’s an orgy of violence and murder, a caveman revival, a global testosterone storm surge. It’s terrifying.

The air is filled with childish rationalizations for this bizarre behavior. “He hit me first, he started it!” Where is the “naughty mat” when you need it. I say we sit all their raggedy asses down in separate corners and keep them there until they think they can behave.

Now, before everyone gets on their high horses and starts defending the male species, let me point out that women, as a group, are not willingly participating in this carnage, unless you want to give Condaleeza Rice far more credit than she deserves.

Religious men are blowing up their neighbors, strapping bombs to kids and sending them into market places. Perhaps they think they’re doing them a favor by getting them out of this mess once and for all. Or maybe they think it makes them look good in the eyes of the world and that people will respect them and listen to them because they’re so big and bad.

American businessmen are slithering around the globe spreading democracy and capitalism like swine flu.

Not everyone wants this sickness, this craving for more and more stuff, more and more money, more and more power. America has demolished the ancient cradle of civilization, blasted it to kingdom come, in the name of liberation. It's annihilation, not liberation!

Bands of rifle toting men in Africa are maniacally running around burning villages, slaughtering unarmed people, and stealing the children. After they give the children drugs, they give them guns and send them out to kill more people, their own people. Is someone, somewhere, keeping score? Could the referees please declare the “winners” so this insanity can stop?

Maybe there’s something in the water. Maybe it’s testosterone poisoning, perhaps someone has spiked the global food supply with anger and it’s pushed men over the edge of the great abyss.

One thing is certain. Repeating the same actions and expecting different results is documented as a characteristic of insanity. Using violence, again and again, as a problem solving method, as a pathway to peace, is nothing but crazy. Haven’t you noticed, guys??? It doesn’t work!

I say we resurrect the gladiator syndrome and let all the angry men grease themselves up, choose their weapons and shoot to the death. Last man standing wins. Let the games begin!